.
The classic Quiet Mule blog. Musings, observations, reviews, rants, and everything a quiet internet man or lady could want to read. Previously, this was known as Prophecies, but Quiet Mule (yes, THE Quiet Mule) took that title for his own blog.

THE QUIET MULE COMPANION:

Dear Otis - 21 Apr 2010

Dear Otis,

I am going to have to leave you behind for a little while. You are a good character. I've enjoyed writing about your life, but I am feeling weird lately and I haven't been able to get to sleep. I am afraid that your psychotic tendencies will leech into my mind and I will go crazy.

I know you're just a character but sometimes, since you are a part of me, its hard to remember that. I feel insecure because I have developed a relationship with you, and the Otis that I know is slowly declining into insanity. There's nothing I can do about this, its just how the book turned out. I can look at it as a way of dealing with my own mental instability and healing a part of myself. Or I can look at it as a story that is making me approach uncomfortable territory that everyone has inside of them.

Anyway, I know to do this all at once is unsafe and I don't want to rush it and pay the consequences with my sanity. So I'm deciding to go on another hiatus from writing. During this hiatus I will not even think of it like the book is still ongoing in my unconscious while I carry out daily activities. I will firmly put an end to processing any scenarios, character interaction, development, or information of any kind of related to the book while I am on this hiatus. If need be, I will reevaulate at the end of one month whether I am stable and grounded enough in this world in order to continue the book and finish the final chapters.

I realize that taking a break while allowing myself to mull over how the situations in my book are unfolding in their own time and space is not a real break. This is dangerous and may lead me to get too enraptured in the world of the book. As it stands right now I am not grounded enough to engage in such an activity because it may make me lose my self of self in this world. I have enough trouble managing my own life and well-being right now, and I don't need to "live" in a fictious world that I created in order to make a good work of art. I can save this activity for when I feel more stable spiritually and physically.

Anyway Otis, I have worked out the final details of the last chapters with Chris, so now that I have all the basic ideas written down, I choose to begin the hiatus.

I fully realize that writing a letter to a character that I made up kind of has the potential to make me stay in the mindset that my characters are real beings separate from myself. However, I choose with confidence to maintain that yes, you are a part of me, and I have control over how you affect me.

All of my anxiety is created because I view you as some outside force that lives in weird Otisland that will slowly make me crazy. But I know that because you come from me, I have power to balance any anxious forces within me.

I will write a good book. But first I need to relax. Thanks for being a good character. And don't worry man, even though you go crazy at the end of the book, maybe you'll teach some people some things about bad spiritual practices. You do not need to feel alone. You're part of something much bigger.

Night bro
-Peter
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Anti-Capitalism and Blogs - 12 Apr 2010

So just recently my friend Brian has been arguing with a capitalist about the perks of socialism on his blog, Space Nomad.  He asked me to lend a hand and help out his argument. Well, I kind of ended up bashing socialism and capitalism, but I thought my comment was pretty interesting anyway.

For those interested in the entire 22 comment conversation, you can go to Brian's blog and read it. I refer to a man named "Mark" in here a few times. He is the capitalist man. I also uncharacteristically quote Thomas Jefferson. I was trying to get on his good side.  I also refer to Ayn Rand because this is what the original post was about. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Those in favor of capitalism claim that they support “self-interest” because it will benefit the whole, but they don’t realize that they have a misunderstanding of what the “self” is and how to go about supporting it so that this is actually what happens. They view themselves as separate entities from other people living in the same world, but this is a false conception, because everyone that lives and everyone that ever lived in all part of the same thing, the same movement and flow of energy.

There's a difference between real "self-interest" and capitalistic "self-interest." According to Ayn Rand, people should do whatever the fuck they want and compete with their fellow neighbors to attain the most for themselves, and in the meantime every negative moral, social and environmental impact that ensues would magically fix itself. Of course, this doesn’t make any sense. Real, productive, sustainable self interest, one that doesn’t eventually lead to the death of all humanity, is selfishness intertwined with trust and responsibility. There’s a huge flaw in placing the interests of humanity behind some ideology and thinking that everything can only be accomplished with people focusing on their own individual life.

In Buddhism, self interest is more of a balancing act with other people than a competition with them. I remember reading some analogy about two acrobats. One acrobat would be focused on his own activity and try to do the best he could, but also be always focused on his partner simultaneously. Of course, being fixated on both of their responsibilities and activities at the same time made him less able to perfect his own, so they failed and fell down. But it was resolved that the best way to increase productivity and success would be to trust your partner’s ability while you focused wholeheartedly on yourself. This “selfishness” is completely different than Ayn Rand’s idea of it and does not fit into American economics today.

“Self interest” to capitalists means pursuing anything in order to produce profit, and completely ignoring what happens to other people and the environment in the process. Capitalists don’t realize that there cannot be a “self” without an “other,” and so in all of the actions that they take the “other,” be it their neighbors, starving kids, or the rain forest, needs to be taken into account.

With the onset of globalization and the shrinking of the world, most people in industrial society have no idea who they’re affecting and who’s suffering they are contributing to by making purchases in this system. Years ago when America was more self-sufficient and rurally based a family could grow crops and live without considering the impact they might be making on the world, because their lives were so local. Nowadays you can buy a Dole banana and not realize that some hired militia has intimidated and murdered the workers that produced it. It’s a fucking BANANA. What is more innocent than a banana. And capitalism and globalization has stained it.

So Mark, you have to admit that mostly everything in capitalist America you take for granted is based on activities like these. If there wasn’t SOME government control, it would probably be even worse…multinational corporations enslaving citizens of other countries or something. At least with government there’s some institution in place that makes sure the corporation doesn’t become a country itself, an invisible oppressive monster destroying real people and real places.

Anyway, I think there’s a flaw in viewing the situation as a battle between left and right, Capitalism and Socialism. These are just arbitrary concepts that when put into practice just end up turning into something else based on whoever is manning the ship. They’re OK as an idea, but either one is capable of being either good or bad so there’s no point in putting either capitalism or socialism up on a pedestal.

The main thing, I think, that needs to be done, is to have a return to a simpler lifestyle of the past, where activities are carried out mainly on a local level and people work together in order to produce food, shelter, etc rather than relying on any large institutions, be it government OR a corporation.

You may think this is impossible in the age of the internet, but that’s because you’re thinking GLOBALLY instead of LOCALLY. The goal is to stop worrying about “changing the world” or “saving humanity” or even changing the country, but instead to see how to change the local economy, transform the lives around you, and work towards self-sufficiency. The way I see it, if people traded local good with money, or shared everything communally, it wouldn’t really matter, as long as everyone understood the intrinsic connection they have to their neighbor, which would become more and more apparent as people got off their computers and were forced to cooperate and use their creativity as a community.

Two examples of this would be that local economy in Ithaca, NY, where a local currency system supplements transactions of the dollar bill, thus making their exchanges have more real worth in the physical world around them. http://www.ithacahours.org/

Another would be CSA, or Community Shared Agriculture, which is popping up all over the US, where families purchase shares in their local farms and in return get local, healthy produce which limits the impact on the environment and strengthens the local economy. At least one of our founding fathers knew the importance of a locally based, agricultural economy, Thomas Jefferson:

“The moderate and sure income of husbandry begets permanent improvement, quiet life and orderly conduct, both public and private.”

It’s all a matter of perspective. Anyway, I think when our country REALLY starts collapsing, people will be forced to return to this way of life, centered around real wealth instead of concepts of wealth. Hopefully community will improve as well. Either we return to simpler lives, but this time a more moral, brotherly people, or we will all panic and end up killing each other. We’ll see.

-Peter
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The Toilet Bowl - 19 Mar 2010

I love the stench of piss brewing in the toilet. Every time I walk by a dirty, infested bathroom I feel a wave of elation pass over on the first intake. Dozens of people, ignoring society’s pleas to flush their urine, contribute to a communal effort to create the potent concoction. I just stand and stare at the steaming bowl, unable to contribute, my bladder empty as a droughty lake. Even in this modern setting where those in control try so hard to cut people off from their fellow men, they all still unknowingly communicate in the pot. Exchanging their insides, for the benefit of no one! This is what gives me hope. Ideally, every human interaction should give me hope; I am not so naïve as to think there are good and bad things that a man may do to his neighbor. I see how things may unfold. For instance, the death of one man inspires the idle passerby to take hold of his life, to bring it under his control. Or at least, that’s how death should stimulate the observer. But people are not sensitive. Few men realize the importance of sensitivity. If you are not sensitive, you do not feel. If you don’t feel, what happens to you when you touch the bar? Nothing. Life cannot be dragged by the collar like a slave, then asked to be free when a glorious opportunity arises! And although I no longer have a family, and no longer have ambitions, I can appreciate the smells and sounds, and even the things hidden in between the smells and the sounds. And I have never even had a suicidal thought in months.
-Peter
4  Comments

On Morris Berman’s “Coming to Our Senses” - 02 Mar 2010

I finished Morris Berman’s “Coming to Our Senses” recently.  Damn good book.  It doesn’t exactly “cry truth from the blood” the way that, say, Nietzsche did for me, but it’s damned on the mark.

I’m generally skeptical of such books, which claim to invalidate vast continuums of knowledge.  Specifically, Berman questions the view of history as held by the entire continuum of western history and the fundamental basis of western civilization and western belief as rooted in the rejection of the body.

Most books that claim that all other books have “got it wrong” are wish fulfillment fantasies, written by authors who want to inflate their sense of self-importance and read by readers who want to feel as if they are part of a small privileged elite privy to special understanding.  I detest these people.  But Berman has got it right.  His arguments are compelling and multi-dimensional.  Even if I didn’t agree with everything, I didn’t question whether Berman was being egotistical.  I didn’t think he was.  Well, okay, I think it’s impossible not to be egotistical, but Berman did a damned good job of not being egotistical as far as is humanly possible.

Berman’s thesis, insofar as my understanding of it went, was that western civilization is losing touch with its humanity through the suppression of its physicality.  That’s why western society is “doomed” and rapidly running into an evolutionary dead-end.  Berman retraces four or so different models of western evolution of thought and outlines how they have failed.

What Berman desires is that western civilization moves away from the repetitive cycle of “isms” and their rejecting and onto a new path.  He traces back the problems of western civilization to the “basic fault,” the realization that there is a “self” and “other.”  As Berman would have it, primitive hunter-gatherer societies did not have such a strong “self” and “other” dichotomy and were happier.  The basic fault became ingrained into society through the course of history and thenceforth western civilization sought solace in things such as “isms”, which served as transitional object.  Ingrained into western civilization were binary oppositions, etc.  Such as “self” and “other,” “mind” and “body.”

Society moves through “isms,” in that a certain “ism” is accepted for a time and then rejected.  Society moves onto another “ism,” which in time is also rejected.  Berman wants humanity to move away from this cycle. This is a sort of dialectic that Berman argues for, but it’s divorced from Hegel’s because Berman jettisons that whole “march of God through history” component.  Unlike Hegel, there isn’t as much of a teleology.  Well, maybe I can’t really call it a dialectic, since there’s not as much of a antithesis and Berman even brings up the Hegelian dialectic to criticize it.  Berman criticizes the entire spectrum of belief and western thought for being based around dichotomies and divorcing subjectivity from objectivity.

Whatever.  I really can’t be bothered to resummarize the vast amount of arguments Berman makes.  But he’s quite compelling.

I found a lot of what Berman had to say quite similar what I believe.  For instance, I am also of the opinion that binary oppositions are a damaging foundation of thought.  And I had witnessed earlier in my life how deeply ingrained into western thought.  As a case in point, take my earlier systems of thought I had created, of “judge/observer” and “true/false self” dichotonomies.  I created these systems of thought when I was young and slowly moved away from them, as I progressed from being unconsciously enraptured in western societal mores and then becoming aware and disillusioned with them.  So when Berman started talking about these things, I was rather pleasantly surprised.

I hadn’t thought that the self-other dichotomy as might be a merely human construct either, though I suppose I may have been aware of it on an unconscious level.  Thinking about it, perhaps according to my own “philosophy,” the realization that life is meaningless I posit first is conceived because of the “self-other dichotomy.”  Perhaps then a human not aware of the self-other dichotomy might not think life is meaningless on even an unconscious level?

That seems to be what Berman believes, in regards to hunter-gatherer peoples.  I’m normally skeptical of such Romanticisms of the past.  Because the past is long gone, people like to look at it and uphold it as pleasant as a coping mechanism.  This is specifically because the past is unattainable and gone and thus it cannot be “diminished.”  Perhaps Berman’s belief as such is such a sort of coping mechanism.  That’s one of my critiques of him, that he might not realize this, and that if he does he doesn’t acknowledge it explicitly as far as I am aware.  Still, Berman’s argument seems pretty solid (and I’m pretty sure that he does realize that his belief is a form of coping mechanism, though I feel he should have made it more apparent).  After all, if this book did one thing, it was make me more fully aware of how deeply ingrained my thoughts are in the root beliefs of western civilization.  How are we to say that the people of the past were like us?  After all, things we take for granted, such as “family love” are fairly recently concepts historically.  In earlier eras where the deaths of family members was more commonplace, it was even considered foolish for people to have emotional stock in family members.  I previously thought differently.  Maybe I was wrong.

Berman’s historical models were pretty good.  But, I have to critique him for seemingly ignoring postmodernity.  Berman’s model of the twentieth century seems to go from “modernism” to “new age-ism” without postmodernity somewhere in there.  I would have found it valid if, say, he had argued that we are approaching the age of “new age beliefs” after postmodernity, but he seemed to ignore it entirely.  I don’t know.  He would have had interesting things to say about postmodernity, I’m sure.  I don’t know.  Then again, I’m the deluded fool who thinks postmodernity may be what finally allows us to break the cycle Berman describes.  Well, then again, he was writing from twenty years back.

I have to criticize Berman for buying into the societal model of “art as consumption” as well.  This is something that’s been around since Kierkegaard at the very least, because it comes up Either/Or, but it’s just a societal construct as well.  Can’t art be divorced from the creator at times?  Berman really made me realize how much my own art is a “transitional object” which I use to fill up the meaningless of my life, though.  I knew that it was beforehand, admittedly, but I didn’t really consciously acknowledge it or I tried not to.

I think what Berman says is really relevant to the modern age, as well.  I think I might look up some of his more recent writings.  What Berman says, at first glance, seems irrelevant because the modern age of mass media is so focused on physicality (Berman was writing from twenty years back, so he may have been unable to anticipate this.)  However, western society still suppresses its physicality, which is why it comes out to the fore of mass media.  Mass media serves as a “substitute” or “release” for suppressed physicality.  Because physicality is so suppressed in daily life, it literally explodes in forms of mass media such as films, music, etc.  This is why I’m tempted to turn to towards beliefs as outlined in #19.  I can’t because I’m aware of the body and the mind as inseparable, though admittedly I didn’t really realize that until I finished this book.

Still, I get the feeling the wrong people who don’t get all this stuff I outlined earlier will be the most devoted advocates of Berman.  Berman may “Romanticize” the past and claim hunter-gatherers were happier than present people because of their lack of the basic fault of self and other, but he doesn’t agitate a “return” to their ways.  Berman is saddened by the destruction of the Gnostics by the mainstream church but not because they had some sort of intrinsic virtue, but because they represented an interesting possibility for humanity that was cut off.

People who Romanticize the past precisely because they seek to fill the void of their meaninglessness will latch on to Berman, not understanding.  They’ll shout “Yeah Cathars!” or “Yeah hunter-gatherers!” because they just want to relish in the despair of glorifying a past that is gone.  These are the precise “New Age” people that Berman fears.

I don’t think what Berman advocates is going back to the self-other non-awareness he believes hunter-gatherers had but being aware of non-awareness of awareness, so to speak.  Well, that was a joke, but I think Berman wants us to know both awareness and non-awareness of self and other, rather than simply distinguishing between self and other as most do.  What Berman thinks is that humans must become truly aware that self and other are human concepts.

I don’t think people will get that.  Sure, perhaps past people weren’t aware of meaninglessness and were happier, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t forget about it.  We can find a way to be happy, a new way.  Or am I falling into the trap of the basic fault by saying so?

I hadn’t realized how divorced from subjectivity I’ve attempted to make myself, and how that’s not a good thing.

I hadn’t really thought about the body’s role in terms of the meaninglessness of things, and how it precipitates that either.  I wonder.

Anyway, I’m worried that the people who pick up Berman’s philosophy will be the stupid people he fears.  People who advocate things without really understanding, and who live within a circle of limited dogma.  Berman argues that many of the people who came before him were wrong, as any philosopher does.  However, these people who I fear may pick up Berman’s philosophy will be those who attempt to invalidate all other knowledge.  These will be the people who don’t even know who Lacan was, or what the dialectic is, or what Manichaeanism.  And they’ll read Berman and say, “Oh yeah, I don’t need to know all of this complicated earlier stuff.  It’s all wrong.  Why bother read it?” and then cling to Berman as an “ism” and then move on when the next thing gets popular.  Well, I can’t claim to have read Lacan or Freud or Hegel either, since my readings in philosophy are circumscribed to the Ancient Greeks, most of what Nietzsche wrote, and Kierkegaard because of the fact that I haven’t really read anything deeply in a long time.

-Brian
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When Art was Gospel - 22 Feb 2010

From the time I began to invest heavily in animation, I had dreamed of being famous.  Without this drive to compete with others, I would have never had an interest in art.  Because of bullying and inconsiderate teachers, among other negative influences, I probably would have dropped out of high school if it were not for my artistic motivation.  I can safely say, capitalism gave me meaning in life.  Yet, it also left me a broken and disheveled boy.

 

I think back to those days, whether I would have spent even more time watching pornography or TV and left the house less frequently, if I had no art.  Or whether I could have broke out of my shy tendencies and socialized if art was not a priority. 

 

I gave myself the label of an outsider, but I was too ignorant to realize I was a product of the system.  Most artists fail to realize how their own behavior and art has nothing to do with them as individuals, but instead with their culture and transmissible behavior.  Many often theorize about art, but few are conscious of how their own mind operates. 

 

So all throughout my life, art was fueled by my feeling of superiority over others.  I thought I needed this to remain sane in high school.  But the old routine stuck with me and continued to keep me separate from my surroundings. 

 

To some extent, during the process of creating, meditating and spending time in nature, my habits would subside and my detached state lessened slightly.  But as soon as I was finished with one of those three, my mask would rush back into place.  Until one day, when I chose to become a depressed nervous wreck. 

 

Slowly I lost that competitive trait, so much so that I kept withdrawing from classes in college, eventually dropping out.  This depressed me further and I stopped my search for artistic meaning altogether. 

 

I needed that artificial institutional setting to focus on art.  I did not have the confidence to do it on my own.  I had three classes left plus an internship.  The thought of a career contending with people over jobs and recognition in the real world was too frightful for my immature mind to bear. 

 

At first, I replaced that drive with the short-term goal of completing a great sculpture for my thesis.  Pathetically I wasted many a day sulking.  As a result, my sculpture was left unfinished.  This was the final blow to my ego.  I would spend even less time on art the following year.  Almost two years have past. 

 

It is incomprehensible to me how little I have accomplished since.  But then, that is the system talking, not me.  I have not exactly achieved anything, but I have learned more in these two years then the previous twenty-three.  You see, the system wants me to continue working without taking a break to mature.  Thinking is the systems worst enemy.  Once you spend time in deep reflection frequently enough, you no longer are so easily assimilated.

 

That is what is missing with many creative people today, no deep reflection.  They only think of an idea, and then immediately act on it.  They never learn during the process and grow as humans.  It is so damn simple to call yourself an artist nowadays without ever producing a genuinely unique or beautiful thing.  From hero worship to nostalgia, present day artists search everywhere but themselves.  I am not talking about a lack of selfishness.  There is plenty of that.  I mean people are completely dependent on other’s ambitions.  They have little ability to resolve stuff on their own.  That is Capitalism for you.  Where people imagine they are independent, but rely on corporations, institutions, “experts” and addictions.  A land of make believe. 

 

When I talk of introspection, I do not intend to bring up the image of the dispirited western artist.  Ideas through depression feel exciting but come at a steep price.  When depressed, you are weakened mentally.  You exhaust your mind, and as a result it partially shuts down.  The creative forces seem to be more productive within this state.  The gap between the self and the other releases its grip so your mind can reserve its energy.  Creativity then becomes an addiction that comes in jolts.  In extreme circumstances, this can lead to being stuck in a dysphoric slump, creating only to ignore responsibilities. 

 

The way of art is to let prowess come to you.  Creative forces never cease.  Existence flows evenly if you are aware of its presence.  It is nature working through you.  The creativity comes slowly.  Over time it will gradually increase.  I realize this sounds evasive.  Nature cannot be understood through language.  Sure, it can guide you but your own experience is what counts.  Using effortlessness cannot possibly deplete your energy.  Addictive creativity comes in a rush and leaves in a rush, leaving you feeling empty without it.  This reinforces the cycle of depression.  It is an ever-worsening trap.  Believe me.

 

 

 

-Chris
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